10 posts from 2008

Life is going... I'll accept that.
I haven't been doing much lately. I need to be inspired... or something. It's like a cycle of disappointment and... just dull participation.

I'm a dull participant of life! Oh dear Lord.

I just want the next week to go by really fast like this one.

I'm going out of town several times this month and next month to go to concerts. The 28th I'm going to Richmond to see Minus the Bear and Annuals. I love MTB!! I love MTB!!

And then next month, going to DC to see Anberlin... I might see them that next Monday. That'll be awesome. So sweet.

I really do need a car. Okay, I'm gonna become a more persistent person starting tomorrow.
D=

I think the taste of orange soda is disgusting.... yet I drunk three cans of that junk. I'm stuck in a rut. A sort of creative stall... I need a release, but nothing ever comes out right, so I have decided to blog... which I haven't done in a while.

I don't even have much to say. I wish it would get cold already. I'm ready to wear scarves and hats. And tights with pretty dresses.

I need more dresses.

It's so hot. I just look outside and I start to sweat profusely.

I still work at the E-bar and I have an other job interview this Friday to work at the library. It's all brand new and junk. I'm super excited. I've never worked two jobs before, but I'm willing to do the library in the mornings Espresso bar at night.

I've got about 13+ bug bites all over me. It's gross.

=[

My new band obsession is The Cab.
I know it's a phase... but I hope this one lasts.

But I saw 'em Tuesday... kinda had this N'SYNC vibe to it, but minus the really lame dance moves... just kidding. Their moves were pretty sweet. I only have about five songs by them and they are on REPEAT, REPEAT.

I've been running on about eight hours of sleep from the past three or four days. It's exciting. I like feeling like this.
I have to work tomorrow from 9-2. Not bad, I actually like working mornings a lot, a lot. I hope when I get out of school, my manger would let me just work mornings, because i'm probably gonna be doing an internship. But I won't.

I just like having my evenings open. That'll be so awesome.

I bought this hellokitty digital camera for 20 bucks... awesome.

Coffee making is an art.
I know that now.

My new job is ah-maze-ing! I started Saturday, and it was just so cool. I can't wait until I learn how to do everything, and I'm fast. It's such an easy job. We're, like, encouraged to taste everything. It's quite exciting. The only thing now is just quitting Quiznos, which is a lot harder than I anticipated.

I have a new job now. The people there seems to be really nice, and the atmosphere seems easygoing.
But my foolish insecurities are giving me doubts and a small feeling of dread. No! I want to go to the Barrista Bar with confidence, that I can and will give my all there.

My last two jobs, I lacked the confidence in myself, and just dragged my feet. I'm fueled to do better. I will and I am going to do better. I have God on my side, and that's assurance enough.

The thing is, while riding on the bus yesterday, I totally left my uniform on it. And that sucks. Now I have to go check the Lost & Found area. Prayfully, I find my Sidekick iD with it. I realized, that calling isn't good enough. It's just so hard, because I don't have a car, and I can't wait for my mom to go on Spring Break, so that I could finally go and just do my driving test.

I think things are finally starting to look up. Once I've realized that God works on his timing and not on mine. Heh.

God is so amazing, and I just love Him so much.

For Spring Break I went to West Palm Beach in Florida and we spent most of the time in Boca. What a beautiful state!! Seriously, after that week a lot of us was seriously considering to transfer.

I'm definitely considering it. It's a definite possibility. I mean, I've been in VA for the majority of my life... I'm not limited to stay here.

The Church there is quite amazing, and encouraging. So we'll just see what God has planned.

I wish I had pictures, but my camera is lost. Yet another one, I suppose I'll just have to buy one... unless the camera shows up. It's quite stressful thinking about it, but amen, it'll prayfully show up.

I suppose, I can just use others pictures. I mean, I was there too... so yeah.

Last night, I saw Regina Spektor in concert.

Often times, when I would listen to her on my iPod or through a c.d player or iTunes, I'd imagine what it would be like to hear those songs live.

I just knew I would cry when/if I heard them... but I didn't.

In my excitement, I basically saw the whole concert through the display screen of my digital camera. I had the worst headache ever, and my knees were hurting.

All that aside, it was spectacular. Regina Spektor is a beautiful woman. I think her music is to blame.

"To blame..."  Sounds, downright negative. But it's a good thing, I promise.

I'm learning how to pray.

It isn't like I didn't do so before this point in my life... but I suppose I'm learning how to do it in an effective way.

I'm a strong believer in the power of prayer. And prayer in numbers. I'm a really selfish person. I come to those terms almost every freaking single day of my life.

It's not something I like about myself. But it's like, what do you expect? You live in America, where indiviuality and independence is valued.

And those things aren't terrible, but they could be a great hinderance, to when you're in some deep troubles. I'm left under a false pretense that I could get myself out of this mess.

Me.

And it's laughable, and I did a derivitive smirk when thinking about it. God is willing to take my problems. He is a big God, by the way.

So why in the world do I want to hold on to these "problems". I stay awake for hours, wondering what to do? What do I do about this?

Pray. Duh.

It's the most obvious, most simple answer out there. It would save the migraines I get three days every month.

The thought that someone, God, is willing to take all my problems away is comfortin... a huge relief actually.

In time, I'm sure... I'm praying(fingers crossed) that I could be fully dependent on God. It takes practice and discipline, something, that I'm also working on.

We'll just see...

Until the future... later days.

It takes me forever to find the button to let me post a blog. Suffice to say, I'm just not very aware of anything. The huge CREATE button should've been a hint.

Oh well.

Right now I'm going through this Supernatural binge. It's glorious. The two main characters are oh so fine. But the show itself is pretty neat. I watched the pilot episode last night. I jumped at every single scene. Byfar, the scariest episode.

Now I know I have to buy the Seasons before they become too many... like Smallville. I'd have to buy them when I get the chance. I don't watch much t.v. but every Thursday night... you know where I'll be.

Heh.

I would wish to say, that a sort of life changing event has been the cause of my lack of entries... an epiphany of sorts. But it was none of that.

Let's just say it was the exact opposite. The lack of productivity that has caused such entries. Sure, things have happened, as is accustomed when time is around... things change. They always do. It's the new year. It has been so for 23 days.

Only 23. Gosh, it feels so much longer than that. But nothing significantly has changed. Nothing major. Oh, except for the fact that I finally got my phone back.... well not exactly MY phone, but I will get it back soon. I dunno. I feel somewhat trendy and hip with the sidekick iD. I'm assuming that is the point, however.

Anyways... I really want this semester to end, because that's when my life truley hopefully will begin. There's so much going on this summer. I shall go deeper once finality sets in and everything is certain.

But honestly... nothing is ever really certain in life... only death. Which is a sad, morbid, and kinda well-known conclusion.

Evidently, so... it is true. I am not 100% certain that I will get to class on time. Although I have no doubts that I will, seeing as it's only upstairs.