Oceans.

Being a disciple of Christ is NOT fun. It isn't cool, it isn't glamorous and sometimes it just sucks.

It's hard and sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes when I get mad, I want to swear. Sometimes, I want to go out and drink "have some fun."

But none of that is fulfilling... it's not worthwhile or even worth it for that matter. So, why am I a Christian? WHY in the world did I decide to give my life over to God and proclaimed the three words, "Jesus is Lord." at fifteen?

At first, five or six years ago, I did it because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. Because, in a sense I didn't have anything else going for me. Most of my friends were doing it, so why shouldn't I? But I was an impostor. I knew God. I knew of his powers and all the amazing things he was capable of, but I denied those powers in my life.

I couldn't let God take full control. I wanted to be the pilot and God was just along for the ride.

How insane is that? As if I have the power to control how my life would end up. Without God, everything is insignificant. I have no purpose. So, I could get a career a husband and pop out a few babies. Woop-dee-doo.

What I'm trying to say is, I have a greater purpose in life. There are scriptures that I want and NEED to fulfill. A far greater purpose then anything in this world could give me. For once, I feel that there is a point... a reason as to why I live my life and do the things that I do.

What I have to realize is that everything in life is a fleeting passing moment, that won't last. Nothing in life is permanent nor certain. The only thing that is true and stuck is death. After I'm dead... then what? Everything I've worked for and tried to gain would be gone.

What would be my legacy when I'm gone? What will be my lasting impression? Remember, nothing on earth will last. Memories fade and then what?

I know after I'm gone I have that chance to meet my maker. (hehe) To have that chance to meet the God who created the universe. The God, who loves everyone unconditionally despite us being adulterers, turning to other pleasures and "goals" in life instead of seeking him. To have a chance to see a God that sent his son to die for me... that's a life worth living for.

How could I NOT follow the word? His word?

I don't want to live a life that is meaningless, fleeting, and after a few years no one would remember.

I want a chance to meet my God, when I'm gone. Knowing that what I did in life was worth it all.